From Shame to Relief: How Getting Diagnosed Autistic at 29 Changed My Life Forever

A Journey of self-discovery and acceptance. How a late Autism diagnosis transformed my understanding of myself (and everyone around me).

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I have known I was Autistic for a little over seven years now, which in the grand scheme of things isn't that long (especially considering how many years I went not knowing the truth about my brain).

Though my Autism was not diagnosed until I was almost thirty, and my ADHD wasn't "officially" identified until a few years later, it does not mean there were no signs of my varied brain earlier in life.

Like many NeuroDivergent People, I come from a NeuroDivergent family (with members married in and by blood who are both diagnosed and undiagnosed), which likely impacted the way I was perceived at home.

NeuroDivergent children may alarm people who have a poor understanding of us or have never been exposed to children with varied brain types. However, we will raise no eyebrows in a room full of compassionate people who understand our needs (or share similar ways of thinking and experiencing the world).

My curiosity, wild streak, and rebelliousness were noticed at home and a problem at school - the first place I was referred for assessment.

I'd been unable to stay in my seat and be quiet, and teachers described my overall impulse control as "poor" on multiple occasions.

The school had been hinting to my guardians that they wanted me on the medication Ritalin because they felt it would enhance my performance in the classroom. It was a "miracle pill that the school nurse could administer," but I must be evaluated first.

Best of all, according to the school, they had in-house evaluations that would "cost our family nothing" and could help us get quicker access to the medications (that would make it easier for my teachers to manage me) so I could be "less disruptive" to the classroom and everyone around me.

The school's approach was about managing me to fit into the space without inconveniencing others (instead of respecting my differences and needs, making room for me in the space).

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