How many NeuroDivergent people's skills are lost (or never have a chance to grow) because those NeuroDivergent People are stuck in survival mode?

Because I'd been told "work wasn't supposed to be fun," I kept taking jobs that made me miserable, feeling as if the punishments and misery were rights of passage necessary for the money I earned.

As an Autistic Person, the things on my mind often stay there or come back over and over again in a circular fashion. This constantly looping collection of thoughts can be helpful (when the topic or problem circled has a solution). 

This rumination is my biggest strength (it's also a curse). When I can't let go of a problem, my obsessing can help to find a solution. Still, sometimes I find myself ruminating on big problems with no possible solution (in my lifetime). These types of thoughts plague me, occupying space in my mind. 

One thought that's been eating at me for months now is about how many Autistic and other NeuroDivergent People get trapped in poverty and how the lack of access to funding stops so many of us from pursuing hobbies and even career paths that we'd be much happier (and less burned out in). 

For example, growing up, I wanted to be either an artist, a musician, or a writer (yes, I know writing and music are art forms), but was discouraged from an early age by adults around me (who had been artists) from becoming an artist. 

"You know the term, starving artist, right? They have that phrase for a reason," one guardian (who likely thought they were looking out for me) said as they crushed my dreams.

More was expected of me... but what? And WHY couldn't I pursue a career I loved? 

"Work's not supposed to be fun. That's why they call it work," another adult told me a few years later. 

I spent most of my young and teen years writing, creating stories, telling tales, and making music and art... but in adulthood, all that abruptly stopped when working for other people took over my life. 

The things that I loved that recharged and envigorated me became "rewards" I could engage in only after a day's work (assuming I had the energy, which I often don't). 

Society had ABAed me out of rest and relaxation, making me earn every joy. Even little things (like food and bathroom breaks) became rewards in my mind I had to "earn" by doing work. 

Because I'd been told "work wasn't supposed to be fun," I kept taking jobs that made me miserable, feeling as if the punishments and misery were rights of passage necessary for the money I earned. 

Only years later, when nothing else was available to me, was I able to try again with my art and writing. 

I was laid off from my dream job as VP of Marketing and Organizational Change agent in an AMAZING HR Consulting Firm due to the global pandemic in the fall of 2020. 

I discovered a surprising and painful truth when I lost my dream job (through no fault of my own)- actually, two truths. 

Potential employers are Googling potential candidates and looking at their social media activity. 

I know this because I was instructed to Google, dig up dirt on, and review candidates' social media accounts in my previous role as a recruiter (even if the job applicant didn't provide these links to us). 

Anything "surprising" or "questionable" or that "might make our org look bad" or even anything "notable" was a flag for someone higher up than me to "review" a candidate before they could move forward with the interview process. 

Back then, it never occurred to me that being openly NeuroDivergence could be a flag.

The first hard truth I learned is that I cannot take back all the personal information I've shared online with the public. As someone with a recruiting background, I knew this but didn't fully understand the consequences of the types of content and posts I was making online. 

Almost seven years ago, I was still blissfully naive in thinking that being Openly Autistic (in every way) was the way to go. 

Now I know there are MANY reasons why it may be safer for Autistics and other NeuroDivergent humans to keep their NeuroTypes to themselves. 

Living openly and out as a NeuroDivergent Person is risky, and not everyone can (or should) take the same risks I've taken. 

For the rest of my life, potential employers will Google me, find my social media page (or articles written about me or podcasts and shows I've been a guest on), and know that I am Autistic, ADHD, and trans before they even meet me. 

Once this happens, my humanity is overlooked, and I am not seen. I'm lost in stereotypes about people like me, disallowed the opportunity to stand on my own as a person. 

Because of all the misconceptions, stereotypes, and stigmas about Autistic and ADHD minds, many employers are scared even to interview someone like me (because they worry about the accommodations I will ask for and if they may get in trouble for not "handling a person with a disability" correctly). 

Too many employers are unfamiliar with disability law. Poorly informed employers sometimes see a disabled employee (and the unknown about that person) as a "risk."  

It's easier to make the same choices you've always made, and employers and recruiters are often creatures of habit. 

Instead of meeting with someone to find out the kind of support they need, a simpler choice (for the recruiter) is not to meet with someone who may ask more of them than they're used to providing (especially if the recruiter worries the ask may be more than they are up to) even if the accommodation would have been minimal and low cost had the recruiter bothered to ask.

Fear of the unknown can stop even the best of us, and many recruiters are afraid to ask about (or even mention) disability status in the interview process other than a standard "checkbox" that appears at a strategic point in the screening process. 

When recruiters take the "easy way out" (for them), picking a candidate they believe suits the current system without modification, they do so at the expense of disabled people, excluding potentially outstanding candidates before they even have a chance to shine. 

People know I'm NeuroDivergent before they see my work, meet, or speak to me. 

On paper, I have a mark against me that turned a gleaming resume (that used to get almost EVERY SINGLE CALL BACK) to a resume that got ZERO callbacks (except one scam) when I applied for over 60 jobs. 

The second painful truth I learned is that many employers hesitate to hire anyone with a large social media platform (like mine).

This one surprised me (because I used to think having an extensive social media reach would be advantageous). However, having a large social media reach is ONLY a benefit when job hunting IF the company looking to hire you wants to UESE your social media presence for something OTHERWISE, they see someone with a big platform as a risk (especially if that platform is bigger than your potential employer's). 

When you are known for exposing people, people with something to hide won't want you around them because they are worried you may reveal them too. 

It DEFINITELY doesn't help in my case that I have a history of holding people and organizations accountable online (since THIS is the EXACT type of risk that these potential employers are worried about). 

Only through talking to a few people I knew and trusted in the recruiting and HR world was I able to discover that my social media presence has made me "almost entirely unhireable" in a traditional capacity. 

After seven months of job searching (with ZERO leads), I finally "threw in the towel," deciding to work for myself as a writer, artist, and independent consultant on NeuroDivergent and LGTBQIA2S+ Inclusion. 

I'm doing the work I love now, only because all the other "doors" were closed to me. 

With no other options (because of my large social media reach and my openly Autistic/ADHD and trans status), I leaned fully into my art (mainly through writing).

Finally (due to an unfortunate circumstance), I was pushed into living out the dreams I'd always had - dreams I'd almost let die completely, leaving me to think about all the other NeuroDivergent People who have been unable to (or discouraged) from chasing their dreams because of capitalism and the need to survive. 

Autistic People tend to be very specific and specialized learners, meaning (if nurtured) we can become experts in some very niche fields (such as, but not limited to, art, mechanics, science, technology, or math). 

Unfortunately, many of these career fields are off-limits to people raised in poverty (as far too many NeuroDivergent People are). 

One can't take time away from work to pursue learning and becoming proficient in art (a time-consuming hobby or career path) when they're stuck in survival mode (unless art is the outlet allowing them to survive). 

Similarly, many STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) careers are off-limits for those of us who struggle in education (due to our NeuroDivergence being unaccommodated) or lack the financial means to attend university for these higher-paid specialized career paths. 

Over and over, the question plagues me, how many NeuroDivergent people's skills are lost (or never have a chance to grow) because NeuroDivergent People are stuck in survival mode?

How many NeuroDivergent People are stopped from learning skills that would change their lives because they lack the time and money needed to learn (OR were discouraged from learning at all because people around them didn't believe they were capable of mastering or "making a living" off of the passions they had)?

Being forced to survive on my talents has been both a blessing and a curse. 

As someone who likes the security and stability of knowing when and how much money will come each month, I would never have made this scary leap on my own. 

Like a baby bird pushed from the nest, I had no choice but to fly or die.

This experience has taught me that I can succeed, and though I am not far from being that "starving artist" the adults of my childhood had tried to warn me about, I'm much happier now, even with the financial uncertainty (which DOES take a toll, I can't lie). 

I've also learned that some things are more important (to me) than money. 

Life had always been paycheck to paycheck. Working for someone else, I had a regular check I could count on. 

Working on my own, there are months where I do well and months where I make almost nothing. The inconsistency and not knowing of having an unstable income is challenging and sometimes stressful, but not as stressful as working in a space where my NeuroDivergent brain is a problem. 

I would rather be poor and work for myself to accommodate my needs. 

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