Is It a Disorder, or Am I Just in Sync?: A World in Motion In the Season of Stillness
The Solstice Within: Beyond Seasonal Affective Disorder - A Natural-Craving in a Capitalist World - On Winter, Capitalism, and the Need to Hibernate
Yesterday was the Winter Solstice, and last night was the longest night of the year.
From this day forward, the nights will slowly grow shorter again, and the days will begin to lengthen, giving us the gift of more sunlight with each passing day.
In winter, I yearn for the lengthening days of spring, due to the way my body and mind recoil from the lack of sunlight in wintertime. The darkness consumes me, seeping into the very fabric of my being.
Winter comes, with its shorter days and long nights, whether we’re ready for it or not.
When winter starts creeping in, I naturally slow down and crave more stillness.
As the days shorten, I feel a strong desire to stop and do less, to hibernate. But capitalism doesn’t respect the season or my needs.
‘Seasonal affective disorder’ is said to be a ‘winter problem,’ but I’ve learned this ‘winter-time-sadness’ can impact me any time of year (if I stop going outside, and don’t have enough Nature and sunlight in my life).
I’ve felt this same darkness slip over me in the hottest summer months (despite the long summer days), when I had to stay inside and cover all my windows to (unsuccessfully) keep our poorly insulated home cool in the unforgiving Texas heat.
For me, simply not having enough time in the sun, outside, feeling the Earth beneath my feet, can send me into the dreaded spiral, and in Winter, when daylight hours are short, capitalism makes getting outside for sun-time more difficult.
In the shorter days of Winter, some of us drive to work before sunrise, then arrive home just before (or just after) sunset... leaving us with very little (sometimes no) time each day to soak up the sun.
It is a completely unnatural way to go about things, out of sync with the natural world, as if humans are not meant to be part of Nature and Her cycles.
I want (need) to do as the rest of nature does in winter.
In an ideal world, I’d take the short days of winter off or minimize my workload. I’d prioritize time to go outside and feel the sun on my skin each day. But the world we live in wants more from me than I can give while staying true to what my body is begging me to do.
I want to hibernate. I want to slow down.
I want to breathe in the stillness of winter.
I yearn to rest, recharge, reflect on the year that has just passed, and prepare to be reborn in the new year.
I want to mirror the earth’s natural cycles, go dormant for a season, and come up refreshed and ready, with new life, in spring... but I am pushed by the society we’ve created to do the opposite.
Winter, for me, is a time of planning and sewing metaphorical seeds for the future.
In winter, I try to pause, reflect, and plan for all I will do when warmth and longer days arrive.
It is also a time (for me) to slow down and spend time with those in my life whom I care for deeply... but being self-employed means I have no paid time off.
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I hope this helps,
- Lyric Lark Rivera
