March 31 is International Transgender Day of Visibility, but in America, it's Dangerous for Trans People to Be Visible
In America, it's currently a time when visibility can be risky for Trans People (and some states are more dangerous than others).
Each year, March 31 is International Transgender Day of Visibility, celebrating trans and non-binary people worldwide. However, in America, it's currently a time when visibility can be risky for Trans People (and some states are more dangerous than others).
I'm out, and I'm exposed.
In my case, I've been visible online as a Trans (Nonbinary/GenderFluid) Person (with my face and real name) since 2020.
Because the internet is forever, no matter how bad things get, I don't have any option of "going back into the closet."
I go about my days with this pervasive worry that "if we don't stop things soon (before they escalate), I may find myself 'disappeared' and locked away without due process" (as has happened already to many people in recent weeks).
Will it be my Queerness or my dissenting, rebellious, truth-telling, and questioning of those in power that gets me in trouble?
Despite the pervasive worry, I persist.
Online, I've still gone about my work, not trying to hide my Queer identity, though Queer issues haven't been as much of a focus in recent days (as much of what's going on in our country threatens ALL of us, not just Queer People).
My words are my weapons; they're my primary tool, and as a person with limited financial resources, they (my words) sometimes feel like "all I have" in my arsenal (though I know I have other things and people in my life).
Now, more than ever, I am desperate for my words to reach, to stop this beast I see coming at all of us (at a recently accelerated pace).
Offline, I'm less bold (these days).
Living in Texas again has made me much more guarded about my presentation when out and about.
Once upon a time, I would have gone out into the world in full rainbow-themed pride gear, with my various pride emblems, hoping to attract other Queer People and allies (I'm also Pansexual and Polyamorous), without a worry or a care.
Unfortunately, not wanting to attract the wrong kind of attention, I've grown much more hesitant these days, even to put on a rainbow beanie or belt (depending on where I'm going).
Though I do still wear my pride gear from time to time, I've toned things down, made myself more inconspicuous, and stopped correcting people I don't know well on my pronouns (they/them) or wearing my pronoun pins, not wanting to get myself into an altercation with a MAGA-cult-member (because there are MANY of them here).
Once upon a time, I would have heckled strange men who tried to hit on me using words like "girl," teasing, "You think I'm a girl, honey, that's cute!"
Lately, I've switched from engaging with them sarcastically, mocking them as I used to do, to glaring them down, doing my best to appear unamused by their banter (as they treat me like a piece of meat).
Welcome to Texas.
It (the ogling and heckling) happens more here than in any other state I've ever been to (though I've mostly only been to the Southwestern United States and Mexico).
In recent years and months, Texas legislators have attacked Trans People in many ways, including one bill (that is unlikely to pass) that would make it possible to charge transgender people with "gender identity fraud," making it illegal to identify as trans on official documents and potentially leading to jail time - more info HERE.
At the time of writing this, at least 126 anti-trans bills have been introduced in Texas alone. The Trans Legislation Tracker is monitoring them.
That's just what's happening in my part of the country.
If we zoom out, the picture is much worse.
According to the tracker, "In 2025, 821 bills are under consideration across the country that would negatively impact trans and gender non-conforming people," and the number is anticipated to grow.
I urge everyone reading (Trans or not) to educate themselves about these issues, to understand the challenges we face, and to stand with us in this fight for equality because this fight is your fight, too (and many of these bills, if passed, would also harm cisgender people).
Pride IS The WAY
I still wholeheartedly believe that being "out and Proud," accepted for who we are, and given the emotional safety to truly belong (instead of being forced into a state of trying to determine "which parts" are acceptable for us to present in each different scenario) is the key to thriving in life.
I also believe deeply that this need (the need to be accepted as we are, instead of expected to conform ourselves to the group) is one found in all people, not just Queer People (but especially for those our society tends to dehumanize or devalue).
An Exercise: Does THIS sound fun to you?
Suppose you were expected to go to a place where you have to pretend to be someone you're not and like things (or people) you don't like.
In this space, you also have to lie about your life outside of that space (being careful to keep track of all the lies so the character you construct to be accepted or not physically harmed by the people around you stays believable). Plus, if people in this space ever find out who or how you really are, they will all hate you (and possibly hurt you).
Would you want to keep going back to that place?
How do you think you would feel spending extended periods of time in a space like this?
I've been in that space many times (or a variety of versions of it).
I was in that space back when I didn't know I was NeuroDivergent yet (and trying to hide all my NeuroDivergent traits pushed me into a mental and physical health crisis, leading me to be diagnosed Autistic at the age of 29).
I was also in that space when I was in the closet about my gender before coming out as GenderFluid (because I didn't have a language to describe that experience for most of my life).
Back then, I intimately understood the meaning of "alone in a room full of people" because the people around me didn't really know who I was (because I only showed them what I thought they wanted to see), which isolated me.
I also found the pressure that came with 'being acceptable' exhausting (and the standards were impossibly out of reach for me due to my unknown NeuroDivergence, though I didn't understand why at the time).
There are many ways one can “be in the closet” and many closets one can “come out of.”
I’ve come out of my Autistic and GenderFluid closets recently, but there are still some things, especially related to my other NeuroTypes, that I choose to keep to myself or only those closest to me (who I feel safe with).
It was never about “deception” but about emotional and sometimes physical safety (in a violent and hostile world where making too many waves can get you ostracized, hurt, or worse).
Do you appreciate the expectation to be someone or something you're not?
I don't, and I'm guessing you don't either (though please correct me in the comments section if I'm wrong).
The Whole Person Approach
We, as people, need to be accepted for the WHOLE PEOPLE we are, allowed to bring all of our parts into a space so we can switch from the state of evaluating which parts are "accepted" to one of simply existing (because the other state, of constant evaluation, and hypervigilance is exhausting).
I know what we need—physical and emotional safety (so we may exist authentically). However, the world (and country) we live in make that safety hard to find (and even more valuable when we do find it).
Once upon a time, years ago, I would have pushed every person (who feels safe doing so) to be openly, rebelliously, and authentically themselves because this visibility helps make the world safer for those still in hiding (because they don't have the safety to "come out" yet).
Today, I am more likely to encourage people to "find safe communities and people they can be themselves around" (because there are many out there with bad intentions, and I don't know how much worse anti-Queer hate and fascism in America will be in the next few years).
In the rise of something horrifically dark and ugly (hate, bigotry, dictatorship, and fascism), our most significant powers will come from our community connections. Those connections will be more vital than ever if things worsen (which I fear they may).
Those of us who can (or have no choice) but to be visible (because we've already made names for ourselves, we've got nothing left to lose, or we're forced out) will likely find ourselves on the front lines (as we often do), faced with push back and hatred from people who treat kindness, empathy, and compassion like "a virus" to be eliminated (while begging for the same from us).
If you're already visible as a Trans Person right now, I stand with you, defiantly visible, despite the risks.
If you've not felt safe being visible as a Trans Person (yet), that's okay too (especially in recent days).
With all that's happening in the world and the increasing risks, I understand anyone who wants to "keep a low profile" these days.
It's okay to "be the threat they never saw coming" - if that's who you feel you need to be to stay safe.
So today, on Trans Visibility Day, I am sending my love to all the Transgender People out there (visible or not).
Stay safe, All!
With love,
-Lyric Lark Rivera
If you are in need of a discount, please use the button or link below to get your subscription at a deep discount (because I don't want money to be an obstacle to people):
https://neurodivergentrebel.substack.com/LowIncomeDiscount
For readers experiencing financial hardship, please note that this offer is exclusively for you. This discount is offered on the “honors system” - I am not going to ask anyone for proof.
Please, kindly refrain from taking this offer if you do not need it.
I hope this helps,
- Lyric
Thank you for your writing about your experience coming put as genderfluid. I dont identify as that but have the privilege buffer of being a cisgender woman.
But I can relate to some of what you describe in the exercise 2ward the end as I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at 48 and have been learning more about how 2 decide when to safely unmask.
Me again. It is better to stand and fight for your home, family, friends, and rights. But if you are forced to run, there are places where you are welcome. Just saying.