NeuroDivergent Camouflaging & Pressure to Conform - Book Preview

NeuroDivergent Camouflaging is a survival mechanism used to endure a world that is often dangerous and unkind to those of us who stand out.

Last month I shared the first preview of my new book on NeuroDiversity in the wider world (title coming soon). Today I am sharing another excerpt from the first draft of that same book.

I would like to thank my subscribers and supporters for making this blog, and this book (which I hope to get out in the next year or two) possible.

---

The reason my NeuroDivergence went mostly unnoticed for almost thirty years of my life is a phenomenon called NeuroDivergent Camouflaging (sometimes referred to as Masking) - when a NeuroDivergent Person consciously or subconsciously hides (or masks) their Divergent traits to blend in or appear more NeuroTypical (often to avoid physical or mental harm, such as bullying, harassment, discrimination, or worse from people in the world around them).

NeuroDivergent Camouflaging is a survival mechanism used to endure a world that is often dangerous and unkind to those of us who stand out. It is important to note that this camouflaging is done in self-defense and is not intended to be manipulative or deceptive. This Masking can be conscious or subconscious. We may not even realize we're doing it.

For many of us, Camouflaging can also be tied to a trauma response (fawning - when someone copes with a perceived threat, attempting to stay safe and avoiding conflict by "giving in" to whatever the other person wants or believes). This habit of not speaking up about one's feelings, needs, and opinions can lead a NeuroDivergent Person down a dark path (of severe self-abandonment, neglect, isolation, identity confusion, or all of the above).

Though physically and mentally exhausting, masking my NeuroDivergent traits had become second nature to me. Over the years, I learned to compensate for (or mask) my struggles and differences, and sometimes even my joy and happiness. However, not all NeuroDivergent people can hide how they are different. For those who camouflage ourselves, this ability may fluctuate throughout a person's life or even day-to-day.

---

---

A person with long brown hair standing in the woods, surrounded by greens and trees, holds up a fern branch in front of their face.

NeuroDivergent Camouflaging and Safety

We mask, camouflage, and try to blend in because the world around us often does not allow us to be our authentic selves—it is not always physically or emotionally safe, especially for those who stand out.

For NeuroDivergent (and all people), emotional safety is as crucial as physical safety. It's a fundamental need that must be met for us to feel secure and valued in our spaces. When People feel a sense of Emotional Safety, they trust one another and feel safe enough to show up and engage authentically in the spaces they enter.

Neurodivergent people who experience emotional safety will feel less pressure to camouflage, blend in, censor themselves, or leave parts of themselves behind. On the other hand, if we do not find this type of safety, we may find ourselves stuck in a state of hypervigilance and continued scanning and evaluation, trying to determine which of our parts are acceptable for the current environment and which are not.

Camouflaging can be difficult for NeuroDivergent people for many reasons.

While people often talk about how Camouflaging is "exhausting" and "hard on our mental health" or "how it can be damaging to a person's sense of identity," and how it "is a crucial tool that many NeuroDivergent People depend on for survival," there is still one piece of the puzzle I see left out of the conversation around NeuroDivergent Camouflaging time and time again:

Many people don't understand how isolating hiding any invisible identity (projecting a false socially acceptable version of the self to the world) can be, especially for those of us with multiple NeuroTypes and intersecting marginalized invisible (or nearly invisible) identities (or the compounding impacts that can come to those who have both invisible and visible marginalizations).

Paid subscribers have access to the rest of the story. Thanks to every one of you for supporting my work.

Image of a white envelope with a read paper heart popping out of it.

If you are in need of a discount, please use the button or link below to get your subscription at a deep discount (because I don't want money to be an obstacle to people):

https://neurodivergentrebel.substack.com/LowIncomeDiscount

For readers experiencing financial hardship, please note that this offer is exclusively for you. This discount is offered on the “honors system” - I am not going to ask anyone for proof.

Please, kindly refrain from taking this offer if you do not need it.

I hope this helps,
- Lyric