NeuroDivergent Sanctuary: A Guide to Creating Safe Spaces for NeuroDivergent People
Unlock the transformative power of emotional safety. Discover practical strategies for creating emotionally safe spaces that support NeuroDivergent well-being.
Post diagnosis, as I began to get back in touch with my own reality (something that had been denied by being mislabeled as NeuroTypical for most of my life), I became acutely aware of how unsafe many of the spaces in my life were.
When I was first diagnosed I didn’t know what I needed for the spaces around me to be safe. Not knowing what I needed or was looking for landed me in many bad spots. Nothing was safe, and survival mode, hiding, blending, and concealing had been my normal since the first or second grade—so I didn’t know any better (or that truly safe spaces could exist), much less how to create one.
What DOES a safe space for NeuroDivergent People look like?
A safe space is not just a physical location but a psychological and emotional sanctuary where individuals can feel comfortable, supported, and accepted for who they are.
For NeuroDivergent People, a safe space can be:
A community where we can connect with others who share similar experiences
An environment where we can be and express ourselves openly and authentically (including our needs and opinions) without fear of judgment or criticism or being forced to conform to NeuroTypical norms
A place where our neurological differences are recognized and supported, where we can communicate our needs and have those needs met (and respected)
A space where we can take breaks and recharge without feeling guilty or ashamed
NOTE: It's important to recognize that just because a space is safe for one NeuroDivergent Person, it may not necessarily be safe for EVERY NeuroDivergent Person (because we all have different needs, desires, and beliefs that sometimes conflict with or oppose one another).
Some may need a quiet, sensory-free environment, while others thrive in a busy, stimulating space. Some may need frequent check-ins and support, while others may prefer independence. There are ways to include various needs in one space, but sometimes, it is wise for incompatible groups not to force things.
While there are very few one-size-fits-all solutions when it comes to empowering and supporting NeuroDivergent People, one element is universally needed when creating safe spaces for NeuroDivergent (and all) people: Emotional Safety.
I didn’t know I was NeuroDivergent for the first part of my life because NeuroDiversity often can be an invisible diversity, that can be easily overlooked by the untrained eye.
Not knowing this important fact about myself had a huge impact on me.
Since discovering my NeuroDivergence, 7 years ago now, I have learned something I wish I could have known all along….
That I can only be truly happy and successful if I am able to be my authentic self, permitted to exist and comfortable in my own skin – but I (and all people) need psychological and emotional safety in order to bring our authentic selves to the spaces we enter.
People need to be accepted as they are – strengths, weaknesses, - the whole person.
This includes all of our identities.
For the first part of my life, hiding parts of who I am prevented me from moving forward in life and getting help when I needed it.
In my thirties, I had to teach myself to ask for help because the lack of emotional safety that I had experienced throughout my life had taught me to mask my weaknesses instead of speaking up for my needs.
I’m not sure if I had ever experienced true emotional safety with anyone before learning about my Autistic mind. I’m not sure emotional safety would have been possible when I was in deep denial of and disconnected from my true self.
Empathy, emotional safety, and understanding are the foundation of a supportive environment for NeuroDivergent (and all) people.
Actively and empathetically listening while seeking to understand individual experiences and perspectives can help to create a culture of inclusivity, fostering a sense of emotional safety and belonging (enabling team members of all brain types to thrive).
Empowerment and emotional safety (in addition to physical safety) are essential components for NeuroDivergent People to experience safety within the spaces we enter.
Empowerment means recognizing and respecting the autonomy and agency of NeuroDivergent individuals, allowing us to make decisions about our own lives and needs.
Emotional safety means creating a space where we can feel secure, supported, and validates without fear of emotional harm or distress.
As an ally, your role is to offer a safe and non-judgmental space for both people who have known they are NeuroDivergent for years, as well as people who have only recently discovered they are NeuroDivergent (who may have very different experiences from one another).
Psychological & Emotional Safety enable members of a space (regardless of brain type) to collaborate freely, share bold and creative ideas, speak openly about their needs and desires, and express themselves freely with one another.
When People feel a sense of Emotional Safety, they trust one another and feel safe enough to show up authentically in the spaces they enter.
There are numerous levels of safety (or lack thereof) that NeuroDivergent People might feel within a space. Ideally, people should feel safe enough to speak up about their needs and ask for help, using AUTHENTIC COMMUNICATION, trusting that doing so will not negatively impact the way others within the group treat or perceive them.
For most of my life I felt little to no emotional safety (and even lacked physical safety at times when my NeuroDivergence rubbed people the wrong way) because the ways I moved, thought, and communicate seemed to rub people the wrong way.
Since my diagnosis, I’ve began to embrace be truer to my unique communication style, allowing me to express myself more authentically.
When NeuroDivergent people can more freely express ourselves authentically it leads to increased satisfaction in the relationships and spaces we enter, because we feel more accepted and can let our guard down – IF our allies accept our genuine communication.
Authentic communication allows NeuroDivergent People to leverage our communication strengths while accommodating our communication challenges.
When NeuroDivergent People can communicate in a way that feels natural to us, we are more likely to feel valued. We also will be less stressed and tired (if we don't have to communicate using means poorly suited to our skills and needs).
To achieve empowerment and emotional safety so that NeuroDivergent People feel safe expressing ourselves and engaging in spaces authentically, we must:
Listen actively and without judgment, validating individuals' experiences and emotions
Encourage self-advocacy and provide resources and support for individuals to advocate for themselves
Foster a culture of consent, respecting individuals' boundaries and preferences
Create opportunities for social connection and community building, combating isolation and marginalization
Encourage self-care and prioritize individuals' well-being without perpetuating harmful ableist stereotypes
Recognize and celebrate individuals' strengths and accomplishments rather than focusing on deficits or limitations
By prioritizing empowerment and emotional safety, we can create a space where NeuroDivergent People feel seen, heard, and valued. This requires ongoing effort and commitment but is essential for building truly inclusive and supportive communities.
This piece is inspired by a presentation on “Creating NeuroDivergent Safe Spaces” that I will be expanding on at the Neuroharmony conference that kicks off on April 4, 2024 - which has an AMAZING lineup (view the lineup here)!
Since my last email, there has been another update that I would like to share with you all:
The organizer has agreed to offer my readers a substantial discount on admission to this event if they enter my name, “Lyric,” UPDATE - I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THE DISCOUNT CODE IS “30” so please enter “30” as your discount code at checkout.
Full-price event tickets are $200, but my readers can NOW attend for ONLY $30 with the special discount code “30” at checkout.
Learn more here: https://www.neuroawesomelife.com/events
If you have questions about this event, want to sponsor someone, or need assistance with attendance, please email the event organizer directly (via the button below).
I hope to see you there!
- Lyric Lark Rivera
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