Teetering on the Edge of Burnout and Ideation - Is being able to Camouflage one's NeuroDivergence a "privilege?"
Like many Autistic People, I operate on a perilous edge, teetering between burnout and barely resting enough not to burn out.
I started to write this post last week, but the words that fell out of me turned what I was writing into a completely different piece. It's funny how often that happens to me; sometimes it's frustrating, but at the same time, some of my best work is the work I didn't know I had in me.
The piece that came to life last week, as I tried to start this one, was alright, but I've still been thinking about the piece I wanted to write since last week, though I'm just now finding the time and energy to write it.
I have many things I want to write and do, but I often struggle to find the time and energy.
Like many Autistic People, I operate on a perilous edge, teetering between burnout and barely resting enough not to burn out.
This can happen to Autistic People for various reasons (but capitalism and societal expectations are a significant source of stress and burnout for many, possibly most, of us).
We live in a world designed by and for people whose brains work differently from ours, where we are expected to adjust ourselves to fit into the world instead of flexing the world to suit us - and this taxes our mental and physical health.
Because the world as we know it wasn't designed to take Autistic (and other NeuroDivergent People's) needs into consideration, we are forced to work harder than most people to do even basic life and survival tasks.
Additionally, society tends to frown upon the solitary ways many Autistic People recharge from the world around us - because people who are not Autistic often will recharge by spending time with friends and family. However, socializing isn't renewing for me - socializing (even with people I like) is something I have to recharge FROM.
The unrealistic and unfair expectations that are placed on Autistic People, combined with pressure to blend in and camouflage one's Autistic traits and the fact that Autistic ways of resting and recharging are often seen as "taboo," leaves many of us teetering on a dangerous edge - spending our lives tip-toeing in and out (or on the edge of) burnout.
When this happens, and we are already on that edge, adding even one expectation can cause all of the carefully stacked blocks to come tumbling down all around us, leaving us stuck picking up the pieces of our lives.
Now for a controversial opinion I have, that’s gotten me in trouble in the past when I’ve shared it…
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