The Power of Opening Up: Why Vulnerability is Brave for Queer and NeuroDivergent People
For most of my life I thought bravery meant hiding all your weaknesses, struggles, and pain, keeping all your worries to yourself, and never needing anyone else. However, I was wrong.
Welcome back to another Founding Member Friday!
Twice each month on Friday (sometimes on Thursdays), I put out an exclusive post like this one (often on a more intimate and personal topic OR featuring some of the training materials I’m teaching) that will be brought to you by and for our Founding Members.
The first part of this post is always FREE to everyone here on Substack, and the ending of the post is ONLY available to our Founding Members (as thanks for the extra support they give to make this blog possible).
We currently have twenty-nine Founding Members!
I won’t put them on the spot today, but you know who you are. I can’t thank you enough for your support.
My name is Lyric Rivera. I am NeuroDivergent -Autistic, ADHD, Hyperlexic; I have an anxiety disorder and am a survivor of abuse (which has also shaped my mind).
I am also Queer. I am nonbinary (genderfluid), pansexual, and polyamorous. These are pieces of my identity that our society as a whole looks down upon; people in the majority sometimes view me as a second-class citizen, immoral, or less than human.
As a Queer NeuroDivergent Person, I spent the first twenty-nine years of my life trying to fit in, camouflaging my true self to avoid rejection, abuse, bullying, harassment, and discrimination.
For most of my life I thought bravery meant hiding all your weaknesses, struggles, and pain, keeping all your worries to yourself, and never needing anyone else. However, I was wrong.
I am fine with accepting new information as I learn and grow (though I sometimes need more time than a non-autistic human to adjust to new information and changes).
When my view changes (because of new understanding and information), I am not ashamed to admit that my previous self came from a less informed place.
Side note (personal opinion): People who CAN admit when they were previously wrong and are capable of growth and learning are sexy (and something I am very attracted to in both my friendships and romantic relationships). Anyone agree?
... and now "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" is stuck in my head for some reason. Make it stop.
My previous stance that vulnerability is “a weakness" was wrong.
In recent years, I've realized that being vulnerable is brave. Vulnerability is not a weakness. It is a strength.
I was born and raised in Texas. In Texas, we have a saying, "Texas tough."
I was raised to believe that vulnerability was a weakness.
Even as a young child, if I would fall down and skin my knees or hurt myself, I would be encouraged "not to cry" and instead to "fall down and get back up again" so as not to inconvenience the adults around me with my tears.
I was encouraged to hide my feelings and emotions if they made other people uncomfortable.
I was also encouraged to blend in and camouflage myself to resemble people with more "average" brains and conform to societal norms (an impossible goal for me).
My Queerness was invisible, but my Autism and ADHD were not.
My NeuroDivergence was on display and could be seen in the ways that I moved, spoke, and engaged with the world around me.
When I was younger, especially before middle school, when people saw me, they knew there was "something different" about me, even if they didn't know what it was.