The Typo Trap: How Ableism Affected My Career

Autism, Ableism, and the Power of Compassionate Support

In my previous post, I stated that "One of the best things I've done since learning about my Autistic mind eight years ago was realizing that my success or failure (in both the relationships I enter and the environments I find myself in, like school and work) is heavily tied to whether I am treated "as a problem" when I struggle or if my weaknesses are viewed with compassion, and supported.

In school, there were classes and years where I did well because I had kind, caring, and compassionate teachers willing to meet me where I was (instead of trying to shape me into who I thought I should be). However, whenever my teacher saw me as "a problem to solve," I would fall apart.

A similar pattern continued throughout my life, following me into the workplaces I entered.

When my employers empowered me, allowing me to modify the spaces and environments around me as needed so that my needs were supported, I did well. Still, when my employers forced conformity on me, pressuring me into systems that ignored my needs (or worse, punishing me for them), I once again went to pieces and was unable to thrive."

In my previous post, I asked, "Have you ever heard/read my "spell-check story"? If not, you're about to.

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I don't see typos.

One of my biggest strengths is reading with high comprehension at an extremely high speed, paragraphs at a time. I quickly conjure corresponding images in my mind and cast irrelevant words and information (like typos and misspellings) out without thought. Unfortunately, this skill (lightning-fast reading) comes at a price.

As I digest the text, my brain does its own filter, which comes with autocorrect (that cannot be turned off), preventing me from seeing the typos. In most cases, it doesn't matter if the typed text has errors; my brain will read the words "correctly" regardless of the mistakes, how many times I reread, or how much I slow myself down.

I've even taken courses that were supposed to "teach me how to spot typos," but my ability to see problems, typos, or misspellings has not improved.

NOTE: While I can read standard typed fonts commonly found in books and documents, I struggle significantly with reading handwritten words (especially cursive) and "fancy" or scripted fonts.

Lyric, smiling at the camera for a selfie, poses outside in the trees. They have a teal shirt and matching eye-makeup, and a matching teal and purple mountain necklace.

My Spellcheck Story

Not being able to spot typos was a significant problem for one of my previous employers, who felt that spotting typos was "simple" and a person who "can't catch a simple typo" must be unable to do other, more complex tasks.

In my performance reviews with this ableist employer, typos in internal emails, instant messages, and text communications were frequently mentioned (regardless of whether the typo was serious or caused business disruptions) as evidence that I "wasn't ready for a raise or more responsibilities" because they were "proof" that I "couldn't be trusted" and "lacked attention to detail" that would be required for me to move up or into other roles within the organization.

Additionally, any time I had a typo in an email, chat, or other message and one of my managers saw it, they would always make a point to send me a note, pointing out any errors they found in my communications (even communications they hadn't been included in).

Because every mistake was a strike against me, preventing my wages from going up and causing me to be scolded repeatedly at work (when I was used to being a model employee), I eventually became very anxious and paranoid about the accuracy of my emails and outgoing messages.

It got to the point where I would type up a short, three-sentence email and spend 20 minutes reading and rereading it over and over again, scanning it for errors (I could not see) countless times before finally hitting send. Then, my pulse racing, my hands clammy, and my armpits drenched in sweat (as my body would launch into a full-on panic response), I would retract the message, reread it a few times, send it again, retract it again, re-send it, retract it, read it, and send it off several times before finally letting it go.

Despite all this reading, retracting, and rereading, typos still managed to slip by me, keeping me on my employer's bad side and eating away at my sense of self-worth.

This pattern (of panicking, frantic unsending, and being deathly afraid of typos) persisted for years after I left that job, even when I found an employer who didn't blame me (and put all the weight on fixing the problem on me).

Paid subscribers have access to the rest of the story. Thanks to every one of you for supporting my work.

If you are in need of a discount, please use the link below to get your subscription at a deep discount (because I don't want money to be an obstacle to people):

https://neurodivergentrebel.substack.com/LowIncomeDiscount

For readers experiencing financial hardship, please note that this offer is exclusively for you. This discount is offered on the “honors system” - I am not going to ask anyone for proof.

Please, kindly refrain from taking this offer if you do not need it.

I hope this helps,
- Lyric