There's no Cure for Autism (I Don't Want One) - I Will Always BE Autistic

Without my Autistic brain, I wouldn't be me. Autism influences nearly every part of me and my experience of the world around me.

Though I didn't find out I was Autistic for almost the first thirty years of my life, I was still Autistic even before that diagnosis. 

Autism is a lifelong neurodevelopmental difference meaning we are born Autistic, we live Autistic lives, and then we die Autistic deaths. 

Just because a Mac computer is running a Windows emulator, it doesn't suddenly make it a PC. Though unseen by observers, the processes running below the surface are still artificial and chunky. Instead of seamlessly operating as designed, the system mimics something it wasn't meant to be. 

Even if we learn to compensate for our Autistic brains and can succeed (in a world stacked against us), we are still Autistic. 

You cannot take an Autistic Person and erase the Autism from them without completely altering who they are (because being Autistic influences every aspect of who we are). 

Without my Autistic brain, I wouldn't be me. Autism influences nearly every part of me and my experience of the world around me. 

My Autistic brain is responsible for many things in my life:

My skills and what I am passionate about

• My hobbies and passions - and the intensity with which I fall into those hobbies. 

• My strengths and weaknesses - what I'm good at (or bad at) and how good (or bad) I am at things.

• Because my Autistic brain influences the types of things I like to do, it also affects the kinds of people I enjoy spending time with (because we often have similar interests, hobbies, or communication styles).

Who I am

• My creativity - my out-of-the-box way of looking at the world around me 

• The intensity of my emotional experience - from deep sorrow and intense anger to overwhelming joy and excitement

• My questioning nature - my life is driven by the question, "Why?"

• My morals & values - how I am direct and value truth, facts, justice, and information 

My relationships with others

• The types of people I have in my life - and the kinds of relationships I have. 

• How I socialize - how I communicate, bond with others, and my social quota. 

• The friends I have - all my closest friends are (and always have been) other NeuroDivergent People (even when I didn't know that's what we were). 

• My ability to communicate with animals - and the strong connections I can form with them. 

For as long as I can remember, my Autistic brain has influenced the way I experience social constructs: 

I often find myself in opposition to (or strongly dislike) most social constructs (like time, money, borders, gender, religion, hierarchy, monogamy, and social norms).

• My non-binary gender - the whole concept of gender (as we know it) is a big "no thanks" for me. 

• My sexuality - that I'm attracted to people and their gender is an afterthought (if it's of consideration at all).

• My polyamorous mind - the multitude of attractions I can have simultaneously (not being bound by the social construct of monogamy, hetero-normativity, and gender).

Being Autistic doesn't just influence my experience of social constructs. My Autistic brain also affects my physical experience of the world around me. 

• My sensory experience - the types of environments I enjoy (my love of nature, the water, books, libraries, and music) or avoid (stores, crowded places, cities, happy hours, large gatherings)

• How I absorb information and communicate - my need to take in information visually and most effectively communicate to others in writing (typed), and how I'm VERY good at teaching myself things but can struggle when others try to teach me

• I like to do things in the same way in the same order each time. My love of pattern and predictability - helps me to craft perfect routines, plans, and systems for all occasions (such as routes to work, meal prep, work days, and coffee making). 

• How organized I am (now) - the desire for calm in this world of chaos (some of which comes from within my mind) drives me to be VERY organized (something I wouldn't need if my mind were less chaotic). 

As you can see, this is a fairly long list and I easily COULD keep going, but to summarize all of the above:

Autism IS me.

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