They Killed the Rivers. They Cut the Trees. Now They're Sending the Guard. This is Texas.
Can You Love a Place That's Trying to Destroy Itself (and You)? My Texas Dilemma.
As many of my long-time readers may know, David and I have been living in Texas again.
Sometimes I feel like Texas is that one ex (that I know is bad news, but I keep going back to them)...
Texas often I long to be close to it (even though I know it’s bad for me… or is it?).
Some things about this place are great (the people, the food, HEB) but the downsides can be suffocating.
Growing up here, I loved the land (the old trees, rivers, streams, springs, and wooded areas) but struggled with many of the laws and the bible-thumping fundamentalist Christian nationalists (who've shaped the state's culture throughout my lifetime).
These days, the land we call Texas is almost unrecognizable compared to the Texas of my childhood. It breaks my heart to see the destruction unfolding rapidly in real-time.
Each year, Texas loses more of our natural treasures under the guise of "progress."
As the springs and rivers I grew up swimming in run dry, and the shade trees are cut down one by one, I can't help but wonder, "Is this what they want for the rest of the country?" and I am filled with anger and sadness.
Why would anyone GO BACK to Texas?!?!
Despite my complex love/hate relationship with this state, we found ourselves back in Texas (a state whose actions regularly show how much it hates people like David and me), a decision that was not made lightly.
I've never fully shared all the details (and multiple factors) that led to us returning and staying here.
One thing I did share was that the RV we'd been traveling the country in for over two years broke down (technically, it's still sitting and needs many repairs).
We saved up and got two of the major repairs on the RV done, only to have it fail emissions testing this past winter after discovering a problem with our title (that I don't have the energy to explain right now). So (for now), the RV sits unregistered and is illegal to drive in Texas, and there's not much we can do about it (and that's okay).
That door is closed for now, and we are moving forward.
We still have a roof over our heads.
In the short term, we bought a used truck (so David could commute to and from work since we didn't have another vehicle) and moved into a slightly older and somewhat smaller travel trailer (which has been parked for years and needs some work but not as much as our RV) that the truck could eventually tow.
This trailer (since it's not road-ready yet) is a resource we wouldn't have if we weren't in Texas. In addition, I have family and friends nearby (which made life without a car much easier than it would have been otherwise).
If we stay in Texas, David and I have two incomes (since my income is unreliable these days and David's job cannot be done from the road), and if we leave Texas, I don't know how we'll survive financially... yet (but I’ve started to think about what we’d do if we end up pushed out).
I also don't know how long it will be safe for us to stay in Texas.
I'm not ready to move, but that might not matter.
To get this trailer on the road, we will need a new set of tires (the current ones are shot), but most of the trailer's needs are minor.
For example, the awning fabric (which can probably be removed) is ripped to pieces and would likely fly off if we hit highway speeds (with it flapping in the wind like a bird with its foot caught in a snare).
Unfortunately, we’ve been a bit distracted from the trailer and our focus had been on the engine that drives our mobility (the 24-year-old second-hand truck we bought earlier this year).
We've been restoring the old truck piece by piece, first breaks and rotors (which David did at home), then tires, and recently, we had some work done on the steering.
None of the work we're doing on the truck is cosmetic.
We could care less about how our truck looks. We're focused on the vehicle's reliability. In fact, I love the dents and dings that came on our truck because (to me) they are the story of its long life (24 years is old for an automobile).
Next on our list was to have the 4-wheel drive serviced and the transmission and drive train looked over thoroughly (before we attempt to tow anything behind us).
Though much cheaper than a new vehicle, this old truck was a big purchase for us. We do not want to destroy the truck we had waited and worked so hard for.
After the transmission and drive on our hauler had been "cleared" and declared "safe," I was hoping we could consider getting tires for the trailer, but here we are, and I'm worried we may be out of time.
This week, it was announced that Gov. Greg Abbott will deploy the National Guard across Texas in anticipation of and response to ongoing protests that have not turned violent (yet). However, knowing Texas's history (the real Texas history, not what they teach us in our crappy Texas schools) and witnessing what's happening in California and other states, I fully expect that calling the National Guard into Texas will escalate things here (just like it did in California).
Eyes on the ground in California (and videos I've seen) tell me that the Guard has activated militarized checkpoints, preventing people from moving freely in certain parts of the state.
I worry that checkpoints like this could soon pop up in Texas and other parts of the United States (maybe even as soon as this weekend), preventing people from freely moving about the country.
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I hope this helps,
- Lyric
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