Tuning In: How Paying Attention to My Internal World Transformed My Life
Breaking the Cycle: How Self-Awareness Changed My Mental Health Journey
Eight years ago, before I was diagnosed Autistic, I didn't know anything about my mental health (or my NeuroDivergent mind), so I was at its mercy, stuck along for the ups and downs of the roller coaster ride, powerless to stop the ride.
Welcome back to another Founding Member Friday!
Twice each month on Friday (sometimes on Thursdays or Saturdays), I put out an exclusive post like this one (often on a more intimate and personal topic OR featuring some of the training materials I’m teaching) that will be brought to you by and for our Founding Members.
When I am scheduling this post, we have thirty-five Founding Members!
I won’t put them on the spot today, but you know who you are. I can’t thank you enough for your support.
Throughout my life, I've experienced the ebb and flow of my mental health. There have been times of great joy, creativity, and growth but also periods of struggle, pain, and self-doubt.
When I didn't understand myself, my mind, or my mental health, I was powerless to stop myself from spiraling down further and further, unable to notice my steep declines (until they left me stuck on the bottom with very far up to climb).
Learning I was Autistic was a catalyst for many things in my life because it caused me to question everything I'd been taught about myself, other people, and the world around me for the first time in my life (causing me to start paying more attention to my internal experience after a lifetime of being tuned out to my own internal world and needs).
My newly found inward focus
When I discovered the truth about my brain, I started paying close attention to its inner workings, which meant tracking its patterns.
Because of this new "ability" to pay attention and connect to how I'm feeling (instead of tuning out and ignoring my feelings and needs as I'd done in the years prior), I have acquired the skill of monitoring my mental health and recognizing when it's getting bad again (and also when it's improving).
Recognizing the signs of deteriorating mental health has been a crucial skill in my journey. It keeps me informed and prepared, allowing me to take action before things escalate. This awareness has made a significant difference in my life, preventing me from reaching rock bottom.
In my experience, it is better to make corrections as soon as I realize my mental health is slipping because when things get "too far down," it's much harder for me to recover/climb back to the top.
One Autistic stereotype I fit is that my mind picks up on patterns, so I've started to make notes of the "signs my mental health is slipping" as well as "signs things are getting better" again. I hope this list is helpful to your life.
Signs things are getting bad again:
Mental signs
Things that usually bring me joy no longer do
I experience a significant increase in negative self-talk
My sense of self-worth/self-preception (self-value) goes down
Feeling like I "can't" do things (even things I normally can do with ease)
Feeling as if things (including the future) are hopeless
Getting overwhelmed by things that usually wouldn't get to me
Physical signs
Changes in sleep (struggling with sleeping/sleeping more than usual)
Changes in eating habits - eating more or less than usual
Weightloss or weight gain
Stomach and digestive problems
Mental fogginess/difficulty concentrating
Being easily exhausted/overly tired/sluggish
Social signs
Feeling disconnected from reality/the people around me
Self-isolating/Withdrawing/pushing people (friends/family) away
Feeling as if the people would be better off without me/don't want me around
